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Building childrens characterSome of the Islamic means of instilling strength and honour in our children’s character are listed below: Takniyyah (using
the kunya or patronymic in addressing children: "The Prophet (peace and blessings of Alaah be upon him) was the best of people in attitude and manners. I had a brother whom people used to call Abu ‘Umayr. I think he was just past the age of weaning, and whenever he came along the Prophet would say to him, ‘O Abu ‘Umayr, what did the nughayr do (Ya Abaa ‘Umayr ma fa’ala al-nuhgayr)?’" (The nughayr was a small bird with which he used to play). (Bukhari). Umm Khaalid bint Khaalid reported that the Prophet (SAW) was given some clothes, among which was a small black garment made of silk, known as a khameesah. He said, "Who do you think I should give this to?" The people were silent, then he said, "Bring me Umm Khaalid" and she was carried to him (which indicates that she was very young). He picked up the garment and put it on her, saying, "Enjoy it until it wears out." There was a green or yellow spot on it, and he said, "O Umm Khaalid, this is sanaah" – sanaah means "beautiful" in Ethiopian. (Bukhari). According to another report also narrated by al-Bukhaari: "He looked at the khameesah and pointed to it, saying, ‘O Umm Khaalid, this is sanaa, O Umm Khaalid, this is sanaa.'" Sanaa in Ethiopian means beautiful. (Bukhari). Taking them to gatherings and letting them sit with grown-ups: This will increase their understanding and wisdom, and make them try to imitate adults, as well as keeping them from spending too much time on games and entertainment. The Sahaabah used to bring their children with them when they went and sat with the Prophet (SAW). One of the stories that describe this was narrated by Mu’aawiyah ibn Qurrah from his father, who said: "The Prophet used to sit with a group of his companions. One man had his little son with him; he would bring him from behind and make him sit in front of him…" (Nisaa’i). Talking to them about the heroic deeds of earlier and subsequent generations, Islamic battles and Muslim victories: This will encourage them to be brave, which is one of the most important parts of being strong and honourable. Al-Zubayr ibn al-‘Awwam had two children, one of whom was present at some of the battles, and the other of whom used to play with the old battle scars on his father’s shoulder. This was reported by ‘Urwah ibn al-Zubayr, who said that the Companions of the Messenger of Allaah (SAW) said to al-Zubayr on the day of Yarmook, "Will you go and attack, and we will go with you?" He said, "If I attacked, you would be lying." They said, "No, we will do (as we promised)." So he launched an attack (against the Romans), penetrating their ranks and passing straight through, but no one was with him. Then he turned around and came back, and the Romans seized the reins of his horse and wounded him twice in the shoulder. Between these two new wounds was a scar from a wound he had received at Badr. ‘Urwah said, "When I was little, I used to play by putting my fingers in those scars." ‘Urwah said, " ‘Abdullaah ibn al-Zubayr was with him on that day. He was ten years old. He (al-Zubayr) put him on a horse and entrusted him to the care of another man." (Bukhari). Commenting on this hadeeth, Ibn Hijr (rh) said: "Al-Zubayr felt that his son ‘Abdullaah was brave and chivalrous, so he put him on a horse, but he feared that he might attempt to do more than he was able, so he put another man with him so that he could feel that he was safe from the attacks of the Romans should he become distracted by the fighting." Ibn al-Mubaarak reported from Hishaam ibn ‘Urwah from his father from ‘Abdullaah ibn al-Zubayr that he was with his father on the day of Yarmook, and when the mushrikoon ran away, he attacked and started killing their wounded, i.e., he finished off every wounded soldier whom he found. This indicates that he was strong and brave from childhood. Teaching them good manners: Among the manners that should be taught are those described in the hadeeth narrated by Abu Hurayrah from the Prophet (SAW): "The young should greet the old, the passerby should greet one who is sitting, and the small group should greet the larger group." (Bukhari). Giving them the praise and respect they deserve in front of others: This is made clear by the following hadeeth: Sahl ibn Sa’d (RA) said that the Prophet (SAW) was brought a cup and he drank from it. There was a boy, the youngest of all the people, on his right and some elders on his left. He said, "O young boy, will you allow me to give this to these elders?" The boy said, "I will not give away my share of your blessings to anyone, O Messenger of Allah," so he gave the cup to him. (Bukhari) Other components of building character in children:
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