The ethics of
disagreement
Very often,
people philosophize and agonize about the state of the Ummah. It is
true that what happens in other parts of the world, affect us
directly: we are concerned, we voice our feelings and assist
according to our means. However, what we sometimes forget, is that
whilst we are thinking globally, we fail to act......locally!
We, too have pressing issues at home. Disagreement and dissension,
is capable of breaking up any society - and THIS is an issue that we
need to face squarely!
Unity above everything
Prophet Musa (A.S.) once became extremely upset with his brother
Harun (Alayhis salaam), who was also a Prophet. He grabbed him by
his hair and pulled his beard. Musa (Alayhis salaam) held Harun (Alayhis
salaam) responsible for allowing the Bani-Isra'il to follow the 'Samiri'
and go back to worshipping the idols, during his absence. Harun (A.S.)
sadly replied: "O son of my mother, do not seize me by my beard or
my head. Truly, I feared but you should say that I caused a division
among the Bani-Isra'il and did not respect my word " (20:94)
This verse shows that Harun (A.S.) was more concerned with the unity
of the Bani-Isra'il, than he was with their worshipping the golden
calf. He was waiting for his brother to come back and calmly resolve
this problem, thereby avoiding dissension.
Disagreements and differences between people are natural. All of us
are different in one way or another. We come from different
backgrounds and upbringings, we speak different languages, we belong
to different ethnic backgrounds, and have variegated levels of
education. We may therefore have different perceptions, opinions,
and approaches. Allah, subhanahu wa ta`ala says: "If Allah had so
willed, He would have made you a single community, but (His plan is)
to test you in what He has given you; so strive as in a race in all
virtues. The return of you all is to Allah; it is He that will show
you the truth of the matters in which you dispute." (5:48)
From this ayah we see that being different is by Allah's design.
Differences among people cannot be and will not be eliminated.
Therefore, we have to make our differences and disagreements work to
the advantage of the Ummah? Can we prevent dissension and enmity by
learning how to disagree? To differ and disagree is only natural,
But the WAY we differ, is a matter of attitude and discipline.
Types of disagreement
There are three types of disagreements:
-
The first is
normal disagreement, IKHTILAF; It is used to describe a
situation in which people genuinely cannot agree on issues.
-
The second
disagreement is dialectical in nature, JADAL; The aim of
this kind of disagreement is ultimately to win an argument. At
best, it is fruitless and serves no higher purpose.
-
The third
type and worst type of disagreement is dissension, SHIQAQ;
This is when parties hold beliefs that are mutually exclusive.
Each party has no room for the other's opinion. It is when pride
and arrogance subverts the rational mind to the lowest of the
low. It may even lead to violence.
We have seen
evidence of dissension in our society: family and business squabbles
that dissipate the energy and resources of people; institutions of
learning that bicker on irrelevant issues; road rage incidents that
lead to death amongst neighbours; pamphleteering amongst
organisations; malicious slandering etc.. These are some of the
symptoms of unacceptable disagreements that we see around us. They
lead to disunity. They can be caused by selfishness, pride,
arrogance and ignorance; or by blind loyalty to groups, parties or
leaders. Allah warns us about these kinds of disagreements and gave
us the examples of nations before us who destroyed themselves
through dissension. Allah says: "And do not dispute with one
another, lest you lose heart and your moral strength desert you
........" (8;46)
Imagine the situation of a group of people who are trapped at the
bottom of a deep pit. Either they can argue forever about who can
jump high enough to reach the top until they get exhausted and die,
or they can stand on each other's shoulders and by mutual
co-operation reach the top. The Sahabah (R.A.) differed among
themselves on a number of issues, starting with choosing the
successor to the Prophet (S.A.W.). They differed on strategy in
political matters, on interpretations in fiqhi issues. BUT they
continued to have respect, love and reverence for each other. The
founders of the different fiqh schools, although disagreeing on many
issues, even so had great respect for each other.
Can we be the same? Can we disagree and remain united? I believe we
can. The first and foremost guarantee of our unity, is setting our
objective wholly and sincerely to please Allah. We need to train our
hearts to reject pride and jealousy. To remain ONE community, we
need to subordinate our desires to Allah's desire.
Some of the pitfalls we need to avoid
-
Generalizing
and stereotyping: "This person or that organization is like
this," or "they are all the same."
-
Doubt: Be
careful about your assumptions. "Who is behind this?" "Where do
they get their money from?" and so on, plant the seed of doubt
and mistrust.
-
Jumping to
conclusions: "He is the culprit." Hear the whole story, get
information, hear all sides before judging any individual or
group.
-
Speaking
about what you do not know: Speak only after thorough
investigation. Allah says: "Do not pursue that which you have no
knowledge of."
Some aspects we
need to emphasize:
1. Make your loyalty to Allah alone, and
look for justice and truth.
2. If a discussion gets heated, stop it
immediately.
3. Always keep in mind that your brother or
sister has the right to his/her opinion, just like you do.
4. It is always better to debate an issue
without settling it, than to settle it without debating it.
5. Do not leave an argument carrying a
grudge.
6. Conclude with a handshake, smile or a
hug.
7. Assure the other side that your
disagreement does not change your love and respect for him.
Above all, let us not be from those who have broken the unity of
their faith and become sects, "each group delighting in what they
follow " (30:31-32). |
