Being an Example
Allah (SWT) says in the Qur'aan
"Indeed in the Messenger of Allah (SWT) you have an excellent
example to follow for him who hopes in (the meeting with) Allah (SWT)
and the Last Day and remembers Allah (SWT) much" (al-Ahzab,
21)
This is a very great blessing for this Ummah. Allah (SWT) has given
us a perfect example of how to apply this religion. In every aspect
of our lives, we have a human example to look to. We can see how he
behaved under different circumstances and we can know with certainty
that the way he behaved was in accordance with the revelation of
Allah (SWT).
This is just one of the many blessings that we Muslims have
received. In the other religions, such as Christianity or Judaism,
they do not have such a wonderful example. They do not possess a
detailed and authentic record of how their prophets lived. Hence,
when it comes to day to day matters in their lives, they have no
authentic reference that they can turn to that will give them the
satisfaction of knowing what God wants from them in each and every
moment of their lives.
If we look at how humans behave around us, it is common or normal
for people to look at others and to take them as their examples.
Indeed, for the majority of the people, it seems that they are in
need of an example. Perhaps such examples give them guidance, hope
and confidence.
Al-Hamdulillaah, Allah (SWT) has provided us with the best possible
example. We Muslims do not have to look to the kinds of people that
the non-Muslims are looking at as examples and sources of guidance.
We don't have to look to movie actors, rock stars, athletes, or
politicians as our sources of guidance. Believe it or not, this is
who the disbelievers are looking at as their examples. This is why
they always have such people give "public broadcasting
announcements" about AIDS, drinking while drunk and so forth. These
people are asked to give these announcements because they are the
people that so many others look up to, admire and take as their role
models. The saddest thing is when Muslims also start taking these
people as their role models. Allah (SWT) has blessed us with the
most excellent role model and yet we turn to people like this.
We must turn to the Messenger of Allah (SWT) (saw) as our role
model. However, not everyone has access or the time to study the
life of the Prophet Muhammad (saw). Furthermore, the time that he
lived was many years ago and something's have changed since that
time - some people cannot see that although things have seemed to
change, in reality, they have not fundamentally changed since the
time of the Prophet (saw).
For these and other reasons, even devout Muslims look to other
people as, you could say, "supplementary" role models or examples.
People who are closer to their own situation and environment. Many
of us need to see examples and role models in front of us today who
are reacting to the thing that are going on now. All Muslims
probably realise that the Prophet (saw) is the best example but
sometimes it is simply hard for them to figure out exactly how that
example fits into their life today when they are, for example,
living in a non-Muslim environment where haram things are all around
them. How does one cope in such an environment? What does one do
when faced with specific situations in this environment?
In these cases, who should we take as examples and role models? The
answer is those people who are taking their example from the Prophet
(saw) and through their knowledge and understanding of the Prophet
(saw) are applying his teachings to today's situation. That is, in
essence, those people of knowledge and taqwaa. They are the heirs of
the Prophet (saw) as he stated in the hadith,
"The scholars are the heirs of the Prophets" (Ahmad & Tirmidhi)
They have the knowledge to understand the Qur'aan and the Sunnah and
see its guidance for today. And they have the taqwaa to apply that
knowledge today. Knowledge without taqwaa is not sufficient, and
taqwaa without knowledge is also not sufficient.
That is who we should be taking as examples for our own lives. But
there is another very important aspect to this topic that I would
like to stress. That is, whether you like it or not, whether you
even realise it or not, virtually every single one of you is an
example and a role model for somebody else. Again, you may not
realise that fact but it is the case. The Messenger of Allah (SWT)
(saw) was an example for the entire ummah, and this role has passed
on to us with respect to certain individuals. Some reflection will
make you realise that this is exactly the case.
Many of you have younger brothers or sisters. It is very common for
younger brothers and sisters to look up to their older siblings.
Many times their older siblings are much closer to them than their
parents, with respect to age, lifestyle, environment, problems,
concerns and so forth. Therefore, they may not look to their parents
in issues that concern drugs, alcohol, sex, dating and so forth.
There may be a generation gap and they feel that their parents are
out of touch with what is going on now. Perhaps even more dangerous,
there may be a cultural gap - wherein immigrant parents have
children who grew up in this country and children are definitely
Americans while the parents are still somewhat Pakistani, or Arab or
Malaysian or whatever the case might be.
So they look up to their older brother or sister. They look to see
how their older siblings are coping with their own problems. They
take their example because of the love and mutual trust that usually
exists among such siblings. What kind of example do you set for
younger siblings? Are they memorising the Qur'aan because they have
seen you memorising the Qur'aan and you have influenced them or
encouraged them to memorise the Qur'aan? Or are they spending all of
their time playing basketball and chasing after members of the
opposite sex because that is the example you set for them?
One of the greatest influences on others is the set of friends that
a person has. In fact, the Prophet (saw) said,"The person follows the way of his dear friend". (Abu Dawud
& Tirmidhi)
People always want to impress their friends and fit in with the
group that they hang around with. Just think about when you were
growing up, didn't you do many things just because your friends were
doing them? If it was a fashion they were following, you wanted to
follow the same fashion. If it was something dangerous or harmful,
such as taking drugs or alcohol, it was your friends' examples that
gave you the courage to try or do the same thing. What kind of
example do you set for your friends?
Many of you are also parents. Listening to one's parents is
something greatly stressed in Islam. The Prophet (saw) called
disobeying parents one of the greatest sins one could commit.
Parents usually have a great deal of influence over their behaviour.
There used to be an anti-smoking commercial in this country in which
a father sits down and starts smoking and his small son sits next to
him and picks up the cigarette package. Then the ad stated, "Like
father, like son". This is very true. One time I was visiting a
Muslim family and they had a small child. The small child kept
looking at my beard and finally said, "You should remove that beard.
See, my father does not have a beard".
It is very natural for children to have an extreme love for their
parents. Love is one of the greatest factors in following a role
model. One love them and therefore, wants to be like them. In fact,
sometimes children take their parents as the standard by which they
judge all other peoples and actions. Even to the point that if they
are told something from the Qur'aan or Sunnah, they reply, "But my
parents don't do that and I believe that my parents are very good
Muslims and therefore..."
There is a very important aspect concerning any role model but I
want to mention it explicitly here while talking about parents as
their children's role models. You have to remember that, as the
cliche goes, "Actions speak louder than words". Many parents are
very sincere and well-intended with respect to their children. They
tell their children that they have to be Muslim and apply the laws
of Islam. They teach this to their children over and over. However,
at the same time, their actions display something else. They are
telling their children one thing and they are behaving in a
different manner. Many times it is your actions that have a much
greater effect on your children than the "thereotical teachings"
that you are giving them. If you tell your children that they have
to pray and you yourself do not pray, they may be more affected by
your example than what you are telling them.
You have an obligation to protect your children from the Hellfire.
Part of that protection is to teach and guide them properly.
However, always remember, the example you set for them may have the
greatest influence over them. If it is a good example, praise and
thank Allah (SWT). If it is an evil example, seek refuge in Allah (SWT),
repent and mend your ways.
Husbands and wives also can be very influential examples for one
another. It is not a coincidence that many times you find couples
having some of the same characteristics or tendencies. You can find
many cases where both spouses are dedicated to Islam or where both
spouses are simply "marginal Muslims". You can even see how many a
man or woman changes after marriage because of the influence of the
spouse.
Anyone who is in a position of authority may be taken as a role
model by others. If you are teacher, for example, your students will
be looking up to you and may admire you. They may wish to be like
you and will look at you as their role model.
Those of you who come from overseas to study here may be in a very
special situation. You may be from a country where the majority of
the people are illiterate or where it is considered a great thing to
go and study in the West. When you return to your country, your
friends, colleagues and even people you hardly know may be looking
up to you and respecting you. They may greatly admire this man who
got his degree from the United States of America! What kind of
example are you going to set for them? Are you going to show them,
by your deeds and your statements, "Look, I studied in the United
States and I saw what it had to offer and it only increased my
conviction in Islam and my realisation that I have to serve Allah (SWT)
alone". Or are you going to show them, by your deeds and your
statements, "Look, I am a very educated person - educated in the
West - and I know that it is not necessary to take religion that
seriously and it is basically for the ignorant and backwards folk".
Allah (SWT) has given you the chance to be a very influential
example and role model for your people back home. Make sure that you
do not set the wrong example for them as that can be very disastrous
for both you and the poor Muslims who take you as their role model.
Those people who are committee members of Islamic Centres or
Mosques also must consider their position as examples for other
people. What kind of effect do you think it has when the President,
Vice-President or any committee member of a mosque does not even
attend the mosque? If the leaders of the mosque do not even care
about attending the mosque, why should the others care about
attending or looking after the affairs of the mosque? What kind of
message is the President sending to others when the only time they
see him in the mosque in on Friday, Eid and when there is a board
meeting? This is a disease that has afflicted many of our
communities and many people have come to me to personally complain
about the example that these people are setting. I have actually
heard Muslims - especially the youth - say, "Why should I attend the
mosque when the leaders of the mosque itself do not even attend it?"
Any time we are put into positions of authority, we must consider
that a great trust from Allah (SWT). We must think about our
behaviour and that effect it is having on others. We must do our
best to set the right example for others as we never know who and
how many people may be looking up to us and following our example.
Living here in this society, in particular, you are also an example
- again, whether you realise it or not - for the non Muslims. In
fact, you may be the only example of a Muslim that they may see.
What kind of example are you setting for them? Are you setting an
example that will lead them to want to know more about Islam and
perhaps eventually become Muslim? Or are you setting an example for
them that makes them believe that a Muslim is no different from
anyone else today and there is nothing special about Islam, it is a
weak or useless religion like all other religions today? Are you
setting an example for them that makes them abhor Islam by your un-Islamic
behaviour? Are you someone who is bringing people closer to Allah (SWT)
or taking people further away from Allah (SWT)? The answer to that
question may have a lot to do with the kind of example that you are
setting for the non-Muslims who witness your behaviour.
As already being Muslims, you must realise that many newly converted
Muslims may also take you as an example. When a person first becomes
Muslim, he sees much variation in the practice of Islam among their
application of the teachings of Islam. He will also see Muslims who
practice to some extent but not to a great extent. And he will also
see Muslim who virtually do not practice anything at all. He is a
new Muslim. He does not have all the knowledge he needs to know
which of these different groups is actually applying Islam
correctly. Which one of these different groups is he going to
befriend and take as an example in Islam? Suppose he takes you as
his friend and he is looking to you to show him how he is supposed
to behave as a Muslim. The example that you set for him may have a
great deal of influence over how much he actually applies Islam.
Again, beware! Beware of that example you are setting for others
even when you may not realise that you are setting an example for
others!
There is one last group of people who are also role models that I
would like to talk about. This last group, in fact, can have the
greatest positive effect as a role model or it can have the greatest
negative effect. These are those people who are known to be
knowledgeable about Islam. This group includes those who truly have
knowledge and other Muslims recognise this fact. And this group also
includes those who probably don't have much knowledge but they claim
to have a great deal of knowledge and some people might be fooled or
misled by them.
One of the worst things that happens in some communities is that
those people who are considered the people of knowledge set bad
examples for the others in the community. They do not attend the
mosque on a regular basis. Their public appearance is not one that
reflects true Islamic knowledge - for example, a man with his beard
shaved off or a woman who does not wear hijab. They engage in things
that are well-known not to be proper in Islam.
What is the effect of people of this nature? People will look at
them and say, "Look this is a person of knowledge and he doesn't do
this and that", or, "and he does this and that". They will conclude
that there must not be anything wrong with those deeds as otherwise
such a knowledgeable person would not be doing those things. Let us
take the simple example of shaving the beard. A Muslim may look at a
so-called learned Muslim and see that he has shaved his beard. Then
he may say to himself, "I don't have his level of knowledge and
those who tell me that I have to grow a beard also do not have his
level of knowledge. Therefore it must not really be necessary for me
to grow a beard".
Satan may use that bad example as a source of excuses for others.
Even if they feel that something is wrong, they will say to
themselves, "Ah, but so and so does it so it couldn't really be that
bad", and therefore they do it.
At this point, someone might argue that he is not responsible for
the example that others get from him. He is only responsible for his
deeds and everybody else is responsible for their own deeds. In
fact, Allah (SWT) says clearly in the Qur'aan in more than one
place,
"No bearer of burdens shall bear the burden of another" (al-Anaam,
164)
However, that verse does not mean that you are not responsible for
the kind of influence you assert over others. The effect you have
over others is, in fact, the result of your own deeds and part of
the burden that you must bear. This is made clear in a number of
hadith of the Prophet (saw). For example, he said,
"No one is killed unjustly but a share of his blood will be upon the
first son of Adam for he was the first to introduce killing" (al-Bukhaari,
Muslim)
Obviously, that son of Adam did not teach or encourage the later
murderers to commit murder. But he set the example for them and,
therefore, he shares in the sin of all of those who commit murder
after him.
Another hadith states, "Whoever introduces some good practice in
Islam which was followed after him (by people) would be assured of
reward like the one who followed it without the reward of either fo
them being diminished in anyway. And he who introduced some evil
practice in Islam which was followed by others would bear the
burden like that of the one who followed this (evil practice),
without the burden of either of them being diminished in any way".
(Muslim).
This particular hadith shows us the positive result of setting a
good example and the negative result of setting a bad example. The
story behind the hadith, which was concerned with giving charity,
was wherein one Muslim set a good example for the others and the
others followed suit. It was not that he had introduced something
new into Islam as some people may mistakenly conclude from that
hadith.
Therefore, the effect that you have on others and the examples that
you set for others can very well be considered part of your deeds
and part of what you earned. If it is a good example, you may
receive great rewards for all of those people whom you influenced in
a positive manner. If it is an evil example, you may be responsible
for all of those people who followed your evil example.
Keep in mind, also, that you may not consider yourself an example or
role model for anyone. In reality, as I tried to stress in this
khutbah, whether you realise it or not and whether you like it or
not, there is a great chance that you are a role model or example
for some people around you. Think about your life and think about
how you are influencing other people.
Look at the people close to you and see how they are behaving. Try
to see if the mistakes they are making are the same mistakes that
you make and that they, in fact, got them from you. Look to see if
the good things they are doing are the same as the good things that
you do and see if they actually got them from you.
Take the time to study this and take the time to think about it. The
possibility of setting a good example is a wonderful opportunity to
please Allah (SWT). It is an opportunity to follow the Prophet (saw)
- the Prophet (saw) set an excellent example and we are supposed to
follow his example by also setting an excellent example ourselves.
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