Gheerah -
protecting our honour
We live in societies in which most men
and women have lost their sense of modesty, women are obsessed with
their appearances and wear clothes to be seen by others and to
attract the attention of other men even if they are married! They
have lost their sense of shame. Marriage is often looked upon as
old-fashioned and short term affairs and frivolous relationships are
the norm, everyone waiting to attract a better partner and feeling
totally justified to dump one partner for another at the drop of a
hat. Feminism too has reached its peak and men and women are told to
suppress their natural emotions. Men are not even embarrassed when
their wives are dressed up and attract the attention of other men,
they don't mind if another man sees, chats, laughs and even dances
with their womenfolk and if they do mind, they are told not to be so
possessive!
In Islam we have a concept of Gheerah. Gheerah is an Arabic word
which means protectiveness or jealousy. It is a good type of
jealousy, like when a man feels jealous or protective over his wife
or sisters and other-womenfolk and doesn't like other men to look at
them. It is a natural inbuilt feeling Allah has given men and women.
The Prophet (SAW) had the most Gheerah for his wives and all of the
companions were known for their Gheerah. All Muslim men should have
a collective sense of protectiveness for Muslim women as Allah says
in the Qur'an, the meaning of which is:
"The Men are the protectors and maintainers of women…"
(Surah An-Nisaa, Ayah 34)
Men who do not care about how their women behave and appear in front
of other men and don't enforce hijaab upon their wives or women-folk
are called Dayyooth. Being a Dayyooth is a major sin and a detailed
description of this evil characteristic can be found in
adh-Dhahabee's book of Major Sins (Kitaab ul-Kabaa'ir).
A story of Gheerah
To further understand the quality of Gheerah, we can look at an
incident that Asmaa'(Ra) the daughter of Abu Bakr As-Siddeeq (RA)
and sister of Aisha(Ra) relates about herself. Abu Bakr was a
wealthy merchant and he married his daughter Asmaa' to the great
companion Az-Zubayr ibn al-'Awwam (RA) who was a very poor man but a
man of great piety and one of the companions who were promised
Paradise. Asmaa' relates:
"When az-Zubayr married me, he had neither land nor wealth nor
slave…", so Asmaa' had to work very hard kneading dough, going far
off to get water. "And I used to carry on my head," she continues,
"the date stones from the land of az-Zubair which Allah's
Messenger(SAW) had endowed him and it was a distance of two miles
from Madeenah. One day, as I was carrying the date-stones upon my
head, I happened to meet Allah's Messenger (SAW), along with a group
of his Companions. He called me and told the camel to sit down so
that he could make me ride behind him. I felt shy to go with men and
I remembered az-Zubair and his Gheerah and he was a man having the
most Gheerah . The Messenger of Allah (SAW) understood my shyness
and left. I came to az-Zubair and said: "The Messenger of Allah
(SAW) met me as I was carrying date-stones upon my head and there
was with him a group of his Companions. He told the camel to kneel
so that I could mount it, but I felt shy and I remembered your
Gheerah." So Asmaa' declined the offer made by the Prophet (SAW).
Upon this az-Zubair said: "By Allah, the thought of you carrying
date-stones upon your head is more severe a burden on me than you
riding with him." (Bukhari)
Look at the sense of dignity and modesty of Asmaa'! See how she felt
shy in front of men? See how careful she was about her husband's
feelings? She knew that her husband had a lot of Gheerah so she
didn't want to upset him by accepting the Prophet's (SAW) help even
though the Prophet was the purest of men and even though it meant
bringing hardship on herself! And look at az-Zubair (RA), even
though he had a lot of Gheerah, he didn't want to inconvenience his
wife. What a beautiful relationship they had!
Nurturing our sense of Gheerah
Sometimes Muslim women don't understand if their men folk want them
to cover their faces or if they ask them to change something about
the way they dress or speak in public, thinking that the men are
being over-protective. But my dear sisters! If your husband asks you
not to wear a certain colour of khimaar because it brings out the
beauty of your eyes, or if he wants you to cover your face – by
Allah, be thankful! Be proud of the fact that your husband has a
sense of Gheerah for you and that he values you and cares for your
hereafter. He knows what men can be like more than you do and so
never try and suppress his Gheerah in these types of matters. And
his concern for you should incite your own sense of honour! Why
should any man be able to see your beauty and think indecent
thoughts about you? We must nurture our own and our menfolk's sense
of Gheerah by behaving and dressing modestly ourselves and paying
attention to their valid opinions. We expect certain behaviour from
them and they expect it of us. And besides, if our husband asks us
to do something that it not Haraam, we must do it.
And Brothers! How can you allow your wife or sister to walk around
attracting the attentions and evil-thoughts of other men? How can
you not mind if she smiles as she talks to other men. Nobody has the
right to enjoy her and her company but you and her Maharim men. You
are not being overbearing if you first encourage and then enforce
the hijaab on your womenfolk because YOU will be asked about it on
the Day of Judgement and it is also a major sin upon YOU! It is upon
the men to enforce these things in their homes and you cannot use
the excuse that your wife didn't want to. Women need a firm,
balanced, guiding hand from their men, so with wisdom you must
enforce hijaab in your home. You are a shepard and are responsible
for your flock!
Allah reminds us all in the Qur'an, the meaning of which is:
"Oh you who believe, Protect yourselves and your families from a
fire whose fuel is men and stones." (At-Tahreem, Aayah 6)
There is a big difference between how Islam values and protects
women and how cheaply women are treated outside of Islam! As Muslims
we have to be careful that our Hayaa' (sense of modesty and shame)
and Gheerah don't wear out in a society in which people have lost
it. |
